The moon that shines on my garden of splendor

It is too easy to get caught in My Stuff.

I was thinking today of my cousin’s son who is, as I write this,  in officers training after graduating with honors from West Point. He has little time before deployment.

 His dad and his brother, now a West Point student,  will head to a family farm over Thanksgiving leave. They will do very dangerous winter sports, build wild fires in the wood burning stove and laugh together on our sacred family land.

And then; Deployment.

I was thinking today of Deployment. I was thinking of all the young men and women who are risking their lives and their sanity for …

I was thinking of all the lives lost, ours and theirs and what the Hell does that mean, anyway? Ours? Theirs?

We are all one people beneath the canopy of stars. We are all one people standing on this Earth.


We are at War.

I was in the sauna thinking of Habib; my friend from Iraq who had his 11-year-old son kidnapped.  I was thinking of his words, “So many boys are kidnapped. So many are returned without hands.”

Trudy and the Holocaust. Lindy survived breast cancer. Barbara left a horribly abusive husband and had 4 babies to raise on her own, friends facing illness and an unsure future.

We all survive something. We all have or Pain and War rages, Genocide exists and there are hungry people in my neighborhood. Poverty is real.

It is too easy to get caught in my Stuff.

My mother is dying. Her alcoholism and her alcoholics dementia has caused unending pain. I am sad, I am angry;

And I am one of billions standing on the Earth beneath the canopy of stars.

I am not alone. This blog has shown me so clearly that my humanity, my pain, my suffering is not just mine. We share it. I have met so many Remarkable, Inspiring, Loving people writing these words and sharing them. I have read words here and on other blogs that have changed my life;that are Changing my life.

 Thank you I sing into the night.

It is too easy to get caught in MY Stuff and forget that we are all one standing on the Earth beneath a canopy of stars.

Tonight as I stand in my yard and look up I know that the stars I see are the stars you see are the stars that soldiers see are the stars the hungry see are the stars our Little Bee sees across the pond and lighting our lives.

Thank you for reading this.

No. Wrong.

Thank you for being here and being Human and sharing your heart with me. I am blessed. I will choose Gratitude tonight, Gratitude and awareness of the Oneness and the Canopy and of Hope.

I close with a poem I wrote this Summer standing in my garden with my roses.

Peace,  Jen

(Allahu Akbar means God Is Great.It is heard five times a day in Muslim countries in the call to prayer.

My Husband has heard this. It is Powerful.)

The Call To Prayer      

Tehran is in flames.

Allahu Akbar climbs the night.

 I  balance this with the truth of my son’s heart beating,

 My husband’s lips reading words of poets.

What must Women do?

 Standing  in the garden, my feet on this Earth,

Singing out into my night,

“May God forgive us for what we have not done.”

The moon that shines on my garden of splendor

Shines  also on mothers losing sons.

The roses in bloom

And blood flowing freely,

The moon shines down as

Allahu Akbar climbs the night.

~ by Step On a Crack on November 8, 2011.

15 Responses to “The moon that shines on my garden of splendor”

  1. My Universal Mama!!! You are so right! Perfect medicine for a High Sugar boohoo fest. We are SO all-together in this world of challenges. Huge ones! War; sacrifice — unnecessary ??? i’m not unpatriotic … i don’t understand war except what politicians tell me … i don’t believe it … i bet they don’t either. War … it wages everywhere, doesn’t it. Maybe we can’t hold hands … maybe it won’t happen (globally) …


    I am so grateful for the HUGE LOVING KIND hearts i’ve found here in our blog-world. There is love and peace to be had. I’ll pray for the Universe and for all of us under the stars.

    Love, Mel


    btw, sheisnot me keeps showing up on your blog F*** it .. i’ve lost my peace already!!!!


    • I am with you Sister. I am a Patriot and I say “Bring our Troops home” It is amazing the community we have found here in Blog Land.

      I am going to go outside now; I am going to stand on the same land you stand on… We are together.

      Love Jen

      I unfollowed and then re followed so MAYBE Maybe we can get this thing FIXED


  2. This is so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing and you are right, you are not alone in your grief.


  3. […] The other night I came across a blog that I truly feel privileged to read. It’s about a woman who has the courage to write about her alcoholic mother while her mother is still alive. She writes about things I have felt and continue to feel. She writes, like I do, to get a handle on her grief. To put words to the pain. She writes, and she grieves for the mother she has lost despite the fact that she is alive. The mother that chose alcohol over and over until the alcohol took all that was left. As she writes I realize, we are not alone iin our grief. This post is among my favorites. The moon that shines on my garden of splendor « Step On A Crack…Or Break Your Mother’s Back. […]


    • Dear You….

      I can’t quite get my head around this. Your words are so so touching. I have been looking for YOU! You have been here and I need your blog and your writing as a lantern on my path. I need to ask you so many things: How How How How How How……

      I am moved by your kindness and the HONESTY and GRACE of your walk with Grief and Alcoholism. REALLY tell me: HOW????

      I am moved and sad and feel connected. thank you, Jen


      • I feel the same way. Your blog has made me feel connected in a way I haven’t felt before. I thank you for your writing.


  4. Oh Jen.
    You gave me tears again, dear.
    Thanks for opening my eyes to the FACT that we all suffer. All. Not just me.
    Silly thoughts are like bubbles–easy to pop. Thanks.


  5. What a beautiful poem!

    “May God forgive us for what we have not done.”

    What a killer line…

    Thanks so much, Jen!


  6. Beautifully written and this really resonated right through me. A few days ago in the middle of my sad funk I visited a camp for ‘displaced’ people – about 25,000 people living in pretty awful condiitions and was wholly humbled, moved and lifted to see people smiling and laughing. Life hurts, but it just has to be lived beautiful awful because as far as we know it is just once. A big heartfelt thank you for sharing this and adding a little to the threads that connect us.


    • Oh. My.

      How can we help from here? Really. There must be something we can do as we stand beneath that old canopy.

      Is there any way to be helpful?

      Thank you for doing what you do. Walking the Earth…you.

      Peace. Jen


  7. We all carry our crosses, we fail to realize that our cross is not the only cross. Thank you for bringing me back to reality – I am not alone.



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