I am Clean as a Fucking Whistle

I am so fucking tired my teeth hurt.

I haven’t been sleeping well and the early morning calls from my mother’s home

put             me            on            edge.

My mother is dying. Starving to death because she was a life long alcoholic.

I hate the calls from her nursing home.

I am not craving a drink. Look at my mother; I would be a fool to crawl in the bottle now.

Shit, my Mama didn’t raise no Dummy.

I AM thinking a little coke about now outta just do me.

Not a lot; just a gram to help me get This Party Started.

To any future employer out there wondering if I did go out and take care of this, the answer is NO.

I am clean. Clean as a whistle.

Is that because I no longer have a supplier?

No, silly.

No.

Of course not.

How silly of you to think such a thing .

I am clean as a fucking whistle.

Shit.

~ by Step On a Crack on November 12, 2011.

7 Responses to “I am Clean as a Fucking Whistle”

  1. You can be high on wonderfulness. As a daughter, mother, sister and friend you’ve shown just how wonderfulness looks, it looks just like you. Pain is a part of being alive, as you well know.

    Your stories bring hope to many people, I hope you realise that and hold the thought close to your heart, to comfort you when you need to be comforted.

    Like

    • Carolyn, I thought of your words today while visiting my mother. It was hard hard hard. I am touched by your words: deeply. I will be high on the wonderfulness of you and everyone here. I am grateful for my pain; thank you for the perspective.

      I am very close to tears right now and have been for days; hence the delay in responding. Your very kind words move me to keep on keeping on. If any words bring hope that is worth all of it. I am comforted by your words right NOW. Bless you sweet Woman. xxx Jen

      Like

  2. i envy how much stronger you’ll feel when you put this behind you.

    Like

  3. LOVE THIS … that’s my girl. Spit it out … keep that shit out of you.

    Love mel

    Like

  4. […] clean as a fucking whistle. […]

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: