“Live by the Liquid Diet, Die by the Liquid Diet”

I got another call at 6:23 this week. My mother fell at 4:30 am.

They have her strapped to her bed and attached to a beeper thing.

If she tries to get out of bed they will know to stop her.

The blood tests all came back fine.

I knew they would.

She is probably falling due to a lack of nutrition and dehydration; a liquid diet just doesn’t cut it.

My mother can not be tube fed because she WILL yank that fucker out of there.

Liquid diet.

“Live by the liquid diet, die by the liquid diet,” my sister said.

True.

Hospice in now on board.

THAT was not an easy decision.

They are stumped by my mothers stamina.

I am beginning the entire process again;

Life long alcoholic, smoked her entire life, does not like people,

do not talk in soothing tones to her, she hates that.

No, she does NOT want to look at photos of us as kids.

No she does not want to talk at all.

She hates people.

I ask them gently to bring the dog everyday and to speak as little as possible to her.

I ask them not to touch her as she hates it.

We are getting sorted in this next step; slowly we are getting sorted.

The hospice doc informed me that due to her life long drinking,

her kidneys have adapted to a constant state of dehydration.

IF she were a regular person we would be at the 72 hour mark.

Because she was a drunk, all bets are off on timing.

It could take forever for her to die.

Oddly, she needs far fewer liquids than other people who were not drunks.

We are in limbo.

But I wonder, when we ever not in limbo?

Peace,  Jen

I am hoping to come up for air soon. I miss your blogs and your wit and wisdom!

~ by Step On a Crack on November 19, 2011.

20 Responses to ““Live by the Liquid Diet, Die by the Liquid Diet””

  1. Hoping for easier times for you…

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  2. Thank you for posting the update. You are in our prayers, Jen: you and your family. I can’t imagine the difficulty of trying to explain the inexplicable. You sound like you’re accepting life on life’s terms. That’s a gift of the program, I find. Accepting death on death’s terms is, too, I guess. I hope the support and togetherness with your loved ones is a blessing now.

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    • Dear Heidi! yes ma’am! family, friends and Program. A winning combo. I am very very sad and I am ok. I think you will appreciate this: the hospice nurse, knowing mommy’s past alcohol use, asked my sister and I how our consumption was. It felt great to say ‘ under control!’

      I appreciated her courage and her insight and candor. they work, work them. Peace, Jen

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  3. Too often it seems people that hate people really hate themselves. I’m thankful you can look past her hate and not take that on yourself. Like Heidi said, I’m glad you are surrounding by your support team of family and friends. Praying grace and peace for all of you.

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    • Dear Debby, ok. I am going to talk with my team about this and hospice too. I think you are dead on. Any suggestions how to help my mother let go of her self hate this late in the game??? really… thank you for the prayers I feel surrounded by love. XXOO Jen

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  4. Hey, guess what i Love you!!! You and your family are awesome-sauce (so say the twenty year olds) 😉

    How the fuck did you find time to blog during the party weekend … ? Man …. i’m going shopping, love. Feeling fine. Gorgeous weather …

    Back to mom. We talked about this yesterday. I don’t know why your head hasn’t popped off, and how you can simultaneouly soothe your old pal Mel.

    You rock! You and Don are my best Rocks!

    Can’t wait to get the dancing going. PICTURES!!!!!

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    • MEL!!!!

      Wow! We did it! I am still reeling from all of the YOU NESS. You are the original ROC my friend. I don’t have words I really don’t, and that is rare. There just are not words for what it was to be with you. I can NEVER thank you enough!

      send Harper, Gracie and Don news my dear Friend!!!

      LOVE J

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  5. Mom will be waiting … her amazing bodily functions will let her wait … What is she waiting for my friend? Maybe she’s trying to muster up the courage to say something kind. I would give a pinkie finger for that. Partially because i know she may not be able to do it, AND i’m a welcher on bets 😉

    love ,mel

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  6. I always hear Al report at meetings that people say the disease is “cunning, baffling, powerful.” Even in death, sounds like. I’m totally stymied by the fact that she is hanging on; then again, I have to say that most of the alcoholics I have known in my life are incredibly stubborn people. I don’t pretend to get it, but I do have to say I often try to look for reasons why things like this happen. I could speculate on some, but then I find that when people look for their own reasons, it’s usually best.

    So it’s your real b-day today? It’s my “un-birthday” aka “half-birthday” today. Mine’s on May 19, so I’m 43 1/2 today. 😀

    In spite of this stuff going on, I hope you have the BEST party ever!!
    Bon courage.
    Mrs D

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    • P.S. Ooooh, yes, what Debby said, too! Ditto!! I totally agree!

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    • Mrs. D! Oh YES! “cunning, baffling, powerful.”

      you are right even in death. We are all stumped and confused and sad and scared. Feels like childhood (or the morning after a long bender. ha. ha. ha.)

      Happy Half! I turned 50 sept 20th but scheduled the party for my sisters arrival from England. Weird Yes? the timing? Mommy dying and everyone here. yes. odd.

      The party! Oh Mrs. D! I will go on and on and on in a few days! I can’t begin to explain the Fun Factor!!

      On my real birthday our professional explosives buddy blew stuff up in our backyard. We also broke out the home made flame thrower. Yes we did! we Winkel Thompsons do it up right!

      life is good when you can blow stuff up (safely) and then months later dress like Audrey Hepburn and dance to Great music with your tribe!

      come visit. really. my best to the Mr. XXOO Jen How goes word count???

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  7. I too, am hoping for easier times for you.

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  8. We’re born, we live, we die, all of us. Some just do it in their own unique way.
    Your own life is a better life than the one your mother lived. You are a better person than your mother. I truly hope you know that.
    I feel better knowing there are people like you living their lives and doing the things you are doing. It proves there truly is good in this world.

    Hugs and love to you darling Jen.

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    • Carolyn, I don’t know how to express my gratitude. I hope to my God that I will forever break the cycle. Your words are bringing much needed tears which will bring much needed sleep. Bless you for your kindness, my friend. Love to you too, Jen

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  9. Hmmm. Maybe it’s just she’s pickled herself? What your sister said makes sense, especially when you consider she was born on a liquid diet as well! Enjoy this roller coaster of life with all of yourself. Ride the highs, survive the lows and hang on tight in the turns. Don’t be afraid to laugh or scream out loud when you feel like it.

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    • Al, Pickled is it. When you have a relative with any kind of dementia the family humor turns dark; alcoholics dementia is down right Coen brothers, Terrentino (sp). My mom lives on the Seasons Floor. Seasoned? No, we agreed, marinated. sad. funny, sad.

      I am screaming now, brother. I am. Peace, Jen

      Like

  10. So, so praying for you and your mom and the rest of your loved ones.

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