This Long, Long Night

My mother received Last Rites today at 3:00.

At 4:00 pm my son and I anointed her with Chanel # 5  .

I said, “I love you Mommy.”

My son said, holding her hand, ” Goodbye Mommy Kay.”

I asked knowing there would be no response,

“Are you with Bill and your Father?”

“Is Duffy waiting for you with Baby and Chee Chee and Wild and Cynthia too?”

These are questions she asked me to ask her when she was lucid four years ago.

Her belief system is what matters now.

She wanted to talk about Daddy and her father Ernie and all the pets who have gone on before her.

And we did.

And I will again;

If she makes it through this long night.

This Long, Long Night;

I will talk of these things again

I will read her favorite poetry and hold her hand, clenched tight,

and take her in my arms and rock her gently.

This is hard;

This Long, Long night.

~ by Step On a Crack on November 30, 2011.

15 Responses to “This Long, Long Night”

  1. Feeling for you in this awful awful time in between…

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  2. in connection there is meaning. it is not what is done right or done wrong that counts. all you need is Love. triple Om & Love from Oz

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  3. What beautiful, tender words… Peace be with you all. xx Mrs D

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  4. Oh Jen, I’m so sorry. I’m praying for you. There are no words, just hugs

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  5. The time is near. You are so sweet and brave to lead her to her next step … poetry, your dad, her dad … the animals … it is so cool you can be there for her. My God, hang in there … hold onto You as well. This is very Brave in so many ways. Love, mel

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  6. Tender moments you have chosen to share. You are giving her grace. And that gift will cover you too. continued peace on your journey.

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  7. Sending thoughts and prayers your way for strength, wisdom, and peace.

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  8. I cannot imagine one word that would add to this post. You see how many have learned to love and respect you in such a short time, that seems like such an eternity. Our hearts a breaking with yours.

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    • Kathy, i am honestly amazed at the love found here in the Blog Land thingy. It has been a true blessing in my life and so are you my friend! amazing. human to human heart to heart… xx Jen

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  9. Anointing her with Chanel #5 was an incredibly touching thing to do. My immediate response was that these people really knew her, really understood those little pockets where each of us put our personalities and earthly attachments. Acknowledging who we are strangely helps us let go.

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    • thank you for being here Patti! It was the right thing to do. I left Chanel at the mortuary today. There are things that must be done. Crying right now is on the list….

      thank you so very much for being here… Peace, Jen

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  10. I send you hugs as you do this last final thing. You have been a fine daughter for your mother. Be proud of all you’ve done and all you’ve been for your mother.

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    • I can feel those hugs still. Thank you. My friends here are trying to help me see the same me that you see. Tough to do. I wish I could have done more. it is what it is now… thank you my Poet Friend! xx Jen

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  11. So beautiful Jennifer…peace be with you…love Julie Weiss

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