The Sky Said…

This chronology of Grief is a mind bender.

There is no rhyme or reason to any of what I feel or do not feel.

I forgot about this. I always do.

My mother is dead now three weeks.

It feels like years and it feels like seconds.

How is it that my heart is unable to keep time?

This blog is about Wernicke – Korsakoff; Alcoholics Dementia.

This blog is about the devastation of alcoholism.

How does that tag-line go?

Alcoholics Dementia, Devastation and Forgiveness.

Right.

Devastation and Forgiveness.

Right.

Looking at it now, it is a perfect tag-line and I forgot to mention Death.

Death walks with each drunk. I know that now.

Today out of nowhere I was struck with a feeling of surety that this pain,

this legacy of destruction, would end.

I was watching the sky,

Thinking, “The sky is  blue and the sky is  infinite.”

when I knew      that I knew something.

Somewhere inside something is shifting.

Somewhere inside my Heart and in my mind decisions have been made

and a path is being laid.

I can not explain this but to say that the Sky told me that my life was Moving

and I am Moving with it.

I watched the Sky and I knew that I know something and that time would tell what that something is.

My son was in the car with a friend and they were there

and the Sky was there

and I was there

and all will be fine the Sky said

as I drove my precious cargo.

My grief is not lifted, but something is brewing.

Someday soon, nothing will ever be the same again.

The Sky, on this fine Winter Solstice day, told me so.

“Get Ready,” The Sky said.

Someday soon nothing will ever be the same again;

And in that knowledge is great Hope and Change.

My Heart?

My Mind?

Devastation and Forgiveness and the Chronology of Grief.

Someday soon nothing will ever be the same again.

Someday soon I will be done with pain and devastation.

I am moving.

Something is.

Peace and Happy Solstice to you,   Jen

(A LONG winters nap…)

~ by Step On a Crack on December 21, 2011.

8 Responses to “The Sky Said…”

  1. Lovely words, thanks for sharing this mystical process. Grief is something you do with others, grief is something you do alone. Your body and mind process your grief and eventually it is a calm and lovely thing to remember and hold close.
    The Sky doesn’t bear grudges, make demands or have expectations. The Sky just Is.
    Your grief is yours, be with your grief and accept.

    Like

  2. And some said it thundered.
    Praying your transition into the new something is peaceful and perfect. ❤

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  3. Honey, i love your writing. I love your sensitivity. I know your soul … because you tell me about it. It’s wonderful that you can write so beautifully and honestly about what is True about You.

    The process is so important … and you are rocking each stage … and you are moving on … i’m with you … take me with you, my sweetie.

    Love, mel

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  4. Thank you for saying what is in your heart and what is given from above! This is hopeful. Realistic and hopeful. Doesn’t get better than that.

    One day…one precious day at a time.

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  5. Unpredictable, and has a unique tone!

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  6. It’s our good fortune that your journey is such an articulate one. You offer us a map of grief that is both tangible and abstract. You help us learn to live with the ambiguities of living with and losing a parent. Keep thinking. Keep feeling. Keep writing

    Like

  7. Always listen to the sky.

    (i listened to the sky one time but it was over my head.)

    Like

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