An Important Post by Al K. Hall

This is an honest, heart wrenching post by Al K. Hall.

Suicide is a leading cause of death of alcoholics

but is very rarely listed in the stats.

Please pass this on and on and on….

Someone I know, you know, she knows;

could be helped by reading this.

Thank you Al for letting me post it here.

Peace,   Jen

i Know A Guy Who Killed Himself

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A man i never knew committed suicide on Christmas Eve. He checked into a hotel room, mixed antifreeze with Gatorade and checked out permanently. He left a note online, in his blog, where he mentioned his alcoholism was a problem.

Things I Regret

  • My inability to conquer my alcoholism
  • The things I did because of it

i  never met Joe Bodolai but i knew him. Less than a year ago, i, too, overdosed on a mixed cocktail of pills while drunk and left ominous suicide notes online, only to be saved the next morning by my now wife and 16-year-old son, before spending 2 weeks in the hospital. The first thing i did after my release was to go to an AA meeting. On January 11, 2012, i will have been sober one year.

In an AA meeting room once, an old timer shared that he hit bottom and was faced with a choice between death and sobriety. He chose death. When that didn’t work out, he had no choice but to try AA. He’s been sober 45 years.

Alcoholism is a terminal disease. That i survived it is a miracle. Every day i am alive is a gift i tired to throw away and had returned to me. It’s a gift i try to share with my children, the rest of my family, and friends.

May wherever you are be better than the place you left, Joe. And may your family find peace in this tragedy.

~ by Step On a Crack on January 2, 2012.

12 Responses to “An Important Post by Al K. Hall”

  1. Thank you for sharing this post. I can see how suicide is a leading cause of alcoholics, and it is a very sad statistic. I’m glad Al survived (I’m thankful “something” woke me up that morning and with a knowing that something was wrong). Here’s to someone else seeing this post and being saved from suicide by it.
    Mrs D


    • Mrs. D. I’m so happy for you. Al is a very talented and good human. Awesome for you and Al and you 16 year old. So hard to go through!


    • Dear Mrs. D,

      Thank you to ‘something’ is right!

      Women’s intuition. Yes?

      I am grateful you woke and I am sorry for your memories. Suicide is hell. Attempted sucks too. Don’t get me wrong; I am so happy everything worked out! I also know that experiences like that linger linger linger.

      Take care my friend!



  2. Alcohol is possibly one of the most misunderstood of legal drugs. So many people use it so unwisely.


    • THAT is Exactly it!

      Makes me crazy. It really does. I worked in DC too long not to realize the power the alcohol lobby has AND that DC is alcohol and drug fueled.

      Sad sad sad!

      Wonderful to ‘see’ you by the way!

      Peace, jen


  3. Jen thanks for reposting. How do you do it? I think i’m on Al’s other blog! Slightly more peppery! 😉 love, mel.

    You are doing great work Jen. Keep putting the word out about alcoholism. There are so many ways to fuck up your life if you succumb to this Beast. You hurt yourself, or you torture others indirectly or directly. God bless all the folks who struggle with it and those who struggle along side it! It’s a bitch. Thanks God our Al and Mrs. D are cool, and well and healing, ONE DAY AT A TIME!


  4. So important you shared this, Jen. Thank you.


    • Debby, I read this post over and over. We had a suicide related to alcohol and drugs in our family and it was very nearly our undoing. I found Al’s post honest and important. I hope it reaches someone who needs it.



  5. Jen!

    Thanks so much for sharing this with your erudite readership. i’m not worthy!


    • Al, oh you are my Friend. You are.

      This is important stuff and sadly hits home.

      Peace to you,



      • Yup – he is worth it, huh Jen. Remember Al, as you like to say from the meetings: it works if you work it, so work it, you’re WORTH it. You are worth it. Same as “worthy,” right?

        Thanks Mel and Jen for the kind words. As the person who had to take action that day, there is still “stuff” there about it. A year later, the memories are not bad, but yeah, I can get triggered pretty easily. Just saw the movie with Michael Fassbender “Shame” tonight. A very insightful, if intense, movie about addiction (in this case, sex addiction). A few scenes in there made me feel really sad. No PTSD reactions, thank goodness, but a mental weight that held for a while in a couple of the scenes.

        It is important stuff to be honest and share about, though. It all needs to be said. One little nugget I learned is that a person is only as sick as his or her secrets. I believe the more love, light, and air that is shed upon the secret shame of addiction, the more healing can come. There is hope. There is healing.


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