‘We Travel Far and We Survive…”

I made heart-shaped french toast for my Son on Valentine’s Day.

I carefully sprinkled red sugar bits on top and placed the plate next to his Valentine.

I learned to make heart-shaped french toast from my mother.

She would do this for us on Valentine’s Day.

I am missing my mother.

I am finding new things to love about her.

I am re-blogging a post written before she died;

written when I was looking for things to Love;

Looking for 1% forgiveness for her.

I found much more than that the day she died;

Much more.

My son loved his french toast and I loved making it.

Maybe my mom loved making it for us too;

Maybe she did.

Peace, Jen

Step On A Crack...Or Break Your Mother's Back

Building my father’s coffin was one of the most healing things I have ever done.

I want to build my own.

I want to build my coffin and put removable shelves in it.

I will place all  the books which have shaped me, in my coffin bookcase.

When it is time for me to go, my family will need only to remove the books and the shelves; I will be on my way.

I can picture my loved ones taking the time to look at each book before placing it aside, the books that meant the world to me in the hands of those who have meant the world to me.

That makes sense to me.

It does.

I know who means the world to me now, but by the time my time comes, I hope they will be joined by other people who came to mean the world to…

View original post 602 more words

~ by Step On a Crack on February 16, 2012.

8 Responses to “‘We Travel Far and We Survive…””

  1. Oh girl. I’m feeling some tightness in the chest. I’m guessing there may have been 1% goodness (maybe more) in your mum. I’m with ya in spirit as always. Love mel


  2. Jen – Can it be that it was four months ago that we were talking about books and coffins and forgiveness?
    You made heart shaped french for your son! 3>
    That’s may just indicate of a little more forgiveness than you even know. Today, you are in my heart and my prayers, as you will be tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that.


    • Debbie, It is mind bending to me to look back at this time: not just the dementia and my mothers decline and death BUT the ODD timing of this blog and the support and friendships that have been instrumental is helping me make sense of my experience and find spiritual solace.
      Weird. And then not so weird…

      God does indeed work in very mysterious ways.
      I am SO deeply grateful for my relationship with you. I am amazed at the timing and the intensity.


  3. Oh, Jen, I love this idea! How sweet and pretty it would be! It would be grand for a bridal breakfast, a spouse’s birthday, an anniversary, or any day you just feel lovey.
    What if we all copied this tradition? What if a part of your mom lived on in many, many homes?


  4. Thanks for the intimate picture of heart shaped pancakes. A gift for your son,…and you,…and her. But also, maybe, from her. Our hearts are so much larger than we can imagine. They have the capacity to stretch and take in things we never dreamed we would consider. Even a two way street of forgiveness and love from a parent who did so much that wounded us. Peace in your expanding. ~ Paulann

    I love the idea of building your own bookshelf casket.


    • It is so weird to be remembering the odd little things that my mom did do that did not fit her general MO of disinterested mom. It IS a blessing to remember these things.

      My moms heart was larger than I known too wasn’t it? It was….

      You are a wonder!

      XO Jen

      YES! a bookshelf casket…. Cool right?


  5. […] We Travel Far and We Survive […]


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