Memory and Acceptance; We Are Moving Forward

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The anniversary of a death is always hard
And it is always poignant ,
Memories;

the good and the bad;

Are right there

walking

with us.

We are in that place this weekend.
Ace died 7 years ago.
We are taking a family staycation

Robotics scrimmage on tap.

We are celebrating so much;

We have each other,

we are healthy,

And in love.

We are telling stories:

Ace and the tractor at the farm;

Fake lizards,

Football,

Chopping wood,

And building Fires.

Ace committed suicide.
We are not avoiding that fact.
We are not capable of avoiding that fact,

Suicide is our bone and marrow;

It always will be.

Acceptance is moving on.
Reframing how we face this

is moving on.
We are facing this weekend

And maybe,

Just maybe,

This is the first anniversary we are not facing down;

Facing down Bone and marrow.

Maybe this is the weekend we face it;

The great river of loss.
Maybe we are in this weekend with those we love

and have lost

And with each other.

We are sad;

It would be foolish to deny that.

We are devastated.

We are.
And we are in a place of acceptance we were not able to access Last year.
We are moving through grief as a family.

We are moving through grief with Memory

And Love,

And The future Right in front of us,
The road,

the jeep moving,

Music on the Ipod,

We are MOVING.

Not further away from Ace,

never that;

We are moving closer to him and what we had together as a family;
Chopping wood,

Building fires,

Football,

Romney Vs. Newt;

And the road…
We are on our way.

Memory and Acceptance.

Thank you for being here.

Peace, Jen

~ by Step On a Crack on February 17, 2012.

19 Responses to “Memory and Acceptance; We Are Moving Forward”

  1. Every time I read your words I am amazed at your strength. God be with you my friend.

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  2. Every time I read your words I am amazed at your strength. God be with you and your family my friend.

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  3. So happy for your UNITY in family. Getting through it together. It is the way to stay sane, and progress through all the tragedies in your life. Strong lady! xoxox m

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  4. The fun thing about fires is that the only difference between being burned and feeling the warmth is distance…

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  5. just beautiful.. you give me hope. thanks

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  6. so beautifully inspirational…God bless…

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  7. Wonderfully said. There is much healing in your words and hope. xo

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    • Debby,

      You guys have helped me find Hope. I do not know where I would be without my Blog Mentor Mothers!

      Thank you from a deep place in my heart for all of your support and guidance and love

      XO Jen

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  8. You have a gift of expressing the marrow and the juice. Never shy from it. And congrats for moving into the pain with acceptance and memory. So beautifully said.

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  9. Love, love, love to you and your family, Jen.

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  10. Hugs , as we know time will make the pain less severe, We can face our grief and accept it. We may not like it but we need to accept. Keeping you in my prayers.

    Judy

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  11. Jen, you have provided me with so much support over these past few weeks, and if there is ever anything you need, feel fee to let me know! Stay strong, and know that you are in my prayers.

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  12. I agree with Heidi. You definitely have a gift for expressing the marrow and the juice. This post has left me thinking among other things, that when it feels like someone has chosen to leave us, maybe part of our journey is to figure out how not to leave them. May you find a place of contentment in this journey. ~ Paulann

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