‘”Time to Stop Arm Wrestling and Start Shaking Hands”

Debbie at  Two Minutes of Grace

has been a  friend of mine almost since day one of Step on a Crack.

Debbie has Heart and Wisdom.

Debbie posted an amazing piece titled

‘Spiritual Abuse’

This post has me really thinking:

Am I accepting of other Faith Walks?

Am I?


Sure, I think.

I am Open. I am a Free Thinker.


 Not so much.

I judge  early and often;

Just like voting in Chicago.

During this season of Lent  perhaps it is time to ease up;

 “Time to stop arm wrestling and start shaking hands.”

as Believing God Today  comments in Debbie’s post.

I DO judge.

I do.

Time to stop.

‘”Time to stop arm wrestling and start shaking hands.”

Amen to that.

Thank you Debbie.

Thank you.

Peace, Jen

Spiritual Abuse

24 FridayFeb 2012

Posted by  in Jeff VanVondoren



It’s possible to become so determined to defend a spiritual place of authority, a doctrine or a way of doing things that you wound and abuse anyone who questions, or disagrees, or doesn’t ‘behave’ spiritually the way you want them to. When your words and actions tear down another, or attack or weaken a person’s standing as a Christian –  to gratify you, your position or your beliefs while at the same time, weakening or harming another – that is spiritual abuse.

~ David Johnson / Jeff VanVondoren

My blogging buddy, Chaz @ One Direction Forward, made some comments on Wednesday’s Ashes to Go post that stirred up my thinking about the whole concept of spiritual abuse. I’ve found it lurking in all corners of the Christian community, from Fundamentalists to High Church.

Just as I was reading some excerpts from The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, my email notifier gave a whistle and Dictionary.com Word of the Daypopped up. Today’s word was Adamantine, which means: Utterly unyielding or firm in attitude or opinion. A few of the synonyms are: unbending, unbreakable, uncompliant, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding.

The book was talking about churches and their culture. The dictionary was talking about individuals and their nature. The parallel was striking. Just as I was mentally gathering a few smooth stones to cast at some stain glass, I had to suck in my breath. Adamantine. Am I?

Father, make me bendable. Break me when I need to be broken. Teach me to compromise, relent and yield in all of the areas of my life that grace allows and grace dictates. Amen.

~ by Step On a Crack on February 26, 2012.

11 Responses to “‘”Time to Stop Arm Wrestling and Start Shaking Hands””

  1. This is pretty good. It makes you step back and have to think. So many people behave this way, I’ve known many, and its not just upsetting but sad too. Thanks both of you for posting this!


    • Hello there!

      Sorry to be late in responding. I am Momming it. I KNOW you get that!

      I agree 100%. I wonder how much less pain there would be and now much less blood shed if we could jump this hurdle….

      Peace. Yep. peace,



  2. Hey honey … i like to judge myself … we tend to judge ourselves harshly as well. I’m trying to ease up … and ease on down the road … xoxo melis


    • YES! me too…

      I am SO mean to me it is amazing. I treat myself so much worse than I would treat anyone else


      I do need to look at the ways I judge…

      We each get to choose our paths.. We don’t have to walk them the same way.

      I need to repeat repeat repeat. Especially in an election season. So much NUTTY stuff being said, I need to let go of my judgement of what I. I. I. View as narrow minded and dangerous.

      Just ain’t my path..

      Repeat repeat I tell myself…

      XO Jen


  3. A quote I often need reminding of:
    “It’s God’s job to judge.
    The Holy Spirit’s job to convict.
    My job to love.” – Billy Graham

    My only job is to love. What a relief!


    • Debby,

      I think there is a very good reason Billy Graham consulted with so many presidents, This sums it up….

      It is MY job to LOVE!

      Thank you for the Wisdom.

      LOVE. That is the Key

      XO. Jen


  4. As the French philosopher once said, My freedom ends where yours begins.


  5. Last night I attended a lecture by Robin Meyers, minister and author. His most recent book is “The Underground Church, Reclaiming the Subversive Way of Jesus”. He began his lecture by saying, “I’m worn out arguing about theology. I want us to do mission.” Your post takes me back to those words.

    Rev. Meyers used phrases like, “a way to practice radical hospitality”. He stated his belief that, “People are sick of hearing about what we disagree on. People are hungry for us to care more about being kind than being right.”

    You have helped create space in the blogosphere that invites us to be radically hospitable toward each other and beyond. Thanks, Jen!


    • I love this

      “I’m worn out arguing about theology. I want us to do mission.”

      My parents were both Good Works folks. It seems to me that is the message of all the great teachers.
      “Radical Hospitality” WOW! What if we could practice this not just in our families and in our communities but globally?

      Seems to me a lot of needless bloodshed would come to an end and Peace would reign.

      I am going to read this book! Thank you SO much for sharing this info and these ideas..

      “Radical Hospitality” I LOVE that!


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