Mel Taught Me About Crossing Bridges

There is this crazy sort of camaraderie that exists

 among those of us who grew up Wacky.

We are Tribe.

I have noticed this throughout my life.

There is not a secret hand shake,

 there is not a wink

 or a nod;

there just becomes over time this silent understanding:

We are not like the others.

My first  experience with this Tribe was with my friend Mel.

We met my Freshman year in college in some dorm room or another.

Mel stood out from the crowd:

She was Wicked smart,

Wicked funny,

and sometimes just plain Wicked:

in a good way.

I noticed it first in her humor and the way she would avoid talk

of the parental units or her past.

Ah ha, I thought to myself.

Mel reminded me of someone;

She reminded me,



We bonded quickly and our humor was often ours alone.

Our humor was Dark and that was A-OK with both of us.

That is how I remember it anyway.

Our banter would float over the heads of the others in the room;

and it was not because they were stoned out of their minds either;

they just didn’t get it.

Dark Humor is one of the ways I have learned to find


The more Dark the better.

When you grow up in totally dysfunctional homes,

with totally dysfunctional parents

you are being raised by wolves.


We are left to our own devices to  figure out the stuff of life.

We become some other thing that is not like the others.

We grow to accept this and wander in search of our  Tribe.

If we are lucky, we learn to SEE with more than our eyes.

If we are lucky we learn to SEE others like us.

If we are VERY lucky, they let us in.

Mel let me in.

I am grateful for her.

I am grateful for her courage.

We don’t let people in so easily;

that is one of our hallmarks

and one of the bridges we must cross to wholeness.

Meeting Mel,

Her letting me in;

That was a gift of the highest order.

Mel gave me a gift that keeps on giving.

Mel is a mirror,

Mel is a friend,

Mel let me in.

Mel taught me about crossing bridges

no matter how high,

no matter how long,

Mel taught me about the road to wholeness.

Thank you my Dear Friend.

Love, Jen

*****Visit Mel and she will let you in: with words and art and Bridges to be crossed*****

~ by Step On a Crack on March 4, 2012.

11 Responses to “Mel Taught Me About Crossing Bridges”

  1. It’s destiny you two hooked up, i’m sure! As for humor….

    Dark humor is like Dark beer: Bitter and Strangely Soothing!


  2. how lucky to have such a good friend. it’s interesting how our language, which mirrors our experience can bring us together – both in the past and in the present


  3. Other than the fact that I really appreciate this particular post, I also wanted to tell you that I admittedly enjoy when my email says: New Post on Step on a Crack…

    Hope you’re having a great Sunday!


  4. Jen, you are My Person. One of the few that bridged my Hell to Tribe.

    Our Tribe has more than 5 senses … Our empathy can get us lost sometimes. We feel more than others — I am convinced of it (and why i feel freaky at times)

    … and maybe that’s why our Tribe doesn’t let too many folks in. It’s hard to “feel” the world, without overloading and shutting down?

    i am honored and CRYING 😉 and PROUD to be Your Person. I love you my friend. PEACE xoxo YOUR MEL


  5. I am part of this Tribe, I know it.

    We are not outsiders, we belong.

    This is such a super post with a super perspective on life!!!


  6. Did you ever read Seth Godin’s book Tribes? 😀 Your word, Tribe, is a perfect description. I know exactly what you mean by it. Great post, Jen. Love it.


  7. omg, yes! wow…


  8. Meeting Mel and becoming her friend is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Thank you for sharing this, I hope to get to know you better too xx


  9. I am privileged to be getting to know you and Mel. I’m so happy to be meeting you here in space, which is also a room of sorts. Thank you for leaving the door open! I’m a big proponent of finding friends who ‘get it’! So very glad you have each other!


  10. […] Mel Taught Me About Crossing Bridges ( […]


  11. Wacky heals!


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