“Am I an alcoholic?” by Ron at The Spirit of Recovery

Ron of

The Spirit of Recovery

asks THE question some of us have

all needed to ask ourselves.

He asks the

question worth asking;

“Am I an alcoholic?”

His answer is compelling:

“Looking back on it now, I would have saved myself and others around me a lot of grief if, instead of playing around with question of whether I was an alcoholic or not, 

if I had just  started doing something about it.”.

Thank you Ron.

You ask the important question.

You have the worthwhile answer.

Peace, Jen

Am I An Alcoholic?

Posted on January 9, 2012

It’s a question I spent years asking myself.  Sure I was drunk every Friday night, but I was young, and besides, I’d never had a DUI or even a drunk car accident.  How could I be an alcoholic?  When I did finally get a DUI, well, I’d obviously had too much to drink, but that didn’t mean I was an alcoholic.  And that meant I didn’t have to do anything about my drinking.

As my drinking got worse and the problems increased in severity and number, I finally managed to admit to some people that, yeah, I’m an alcoholic, but I’m a functional alcoholic.  I’d go to work, perform well, didn’t call in sick (too often), and generally held up my end of things.  And that meant I didn’t have to do anything about my drinking.

Eventually, tho, it became obvious even to me that I needed to do something about my drinking.  I went back to AA and sat in the rooms, saying I was an alcoholic and believing it in my head, but I still couldn’t take the idea into my heart right away.  That sounds weird, I know, but there it is.  I could admit I was an alcoholic, but I couldn’t accept that I was.  Somewhere deep in my subconscious was the notion that as long as I refused to accept that I was an alcoholic then someday I’d be able to drink again.

Of course, it doesn’t work that way, but it seems to be a pretty common theme among alcoholics today, just as it was back in 1939 when Bill W. wrote:  The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker.  And a few paragraphs later:  By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic.  Yep, that was my experience.

I do not believe that everyone with a drinking problem is an alcoholic; there is a long continuum with social drinking on one end and late-stage chronic alcoholism on the other, with lots of gray area in between.  Nor do I believe that it is necessary for an alcoholic to label themselves as such.  I know there are circumstances some people may find themselves in where the frank admission of alcoholism would not be the wisest choice.  And even in an AA meeting there is no requirement to identify ourselves as alcoholic.  However, it’s imperative that each of us look into our own heart to make sure we’re not subconsciously clinging to that pesky idea of that one day we can drink socially without consequences.

Looking back on it now, I would have saved myself and others around me a lot of grief if, instead of playing around with question of whether I was an alcoholic or not, I had just started doing something about it.

~ by Step On a Crack on March 11, 2012.

9 Responses to ““Am I an alcoholic?” by Ron at The Spirit of Recovery”

  1. Understanding and following through on STEP #1 (really b e l i e v i n g) and working on it is huge. Cunning and baffling … alcohol will drag us into erm, maybe, maybe not. During the abuse days i would have never thought i was an alcoholic, definitely an abuser, and therefore THERAPY, DEALING WITH BULIMIA all slammed me in my face, and i was on my way to freedom and enlightenment. GOOD POST and REBLOG!!!

    Like

    • Mel! YES! I do not think either of us ever thought, “Oh lordy, I do believe I have a problem with booze.” other stuff; sure. Booze not so much.

      I LOVE this blog and I hope a lot of people go visit. Great Resource…

      XO Jen

      Like

  2. I don’t think a person even has to admit they’re an alcoholic. i tell my clients that if you’re asking the question, take action now, before it becomes a problem. simple solution: Make a commitment to not take one sip of booze for 365 days. no excuses. not ever. I have yet to meet a person who is asking the question who can successfully abstain for a year. ergo – question answered. and without a lot of additional pain. then comes the big question: what are you going to do about it?

    Like

    • Louise,

      Thank you for being here and for adding SO much to this conversation!

      I agree with how you deal with it. I did not even begin to deal with addiction issues in therapy for a time. After doing a lot of great work my therapist said, “I think you need to stop here. Take some time to look at your drug and alcohol use then come back. I think until you decide to give quitting a try, we have gone about as far as we can go.” She was right.

      I went back months later ready to look at my addictions. My Ayurvedic Doc said the same thing. I did not define it: I just SAW it. For me it was probably the only way it would have sunk in. I had a very successful career and seemed NOT at all like an “alcoholic”.

      They are WIse Wise Women: like you!

      Thank you very much for being here!

      Peace, Jen

      Like

      • Your therapist and doc were both very wise. I don’t think there’s much point in working with someone who is actively using booze and drugs. AFter all, using requires a level of dishonesty that negates much of the therapeutic process. I’m glad you looked at it and then went back. freedom is the result.

        and thanks for the nice words. Stay well, lovely lady. you matter to so many of us.

        Like

  3. Thanks for reblogging this, Jen!. Yet another insightful person like yourself that you have turned me on to.

    Like

    • Bartholomew, I am so interested in the networking that goes on here. It is a joy to share resources and opinions!

      I hope you heard the news you wanted to today!!!

      We wait with baited breath!

      Peace, Jen

      Like

  4. Thanks, Jen.

    Like

  5. Dear Ron!

    NO! Thank YOU!

    I love your blog and want to share it with the network of amazing bloggers here and everywhere!

    I love this about blogging; we are stronger together than we are apart.

    Peace, Jen

    Like

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