He Will Be Ready. Will I?

*******

He Will Be Ready. Will I?

I watched a young man cross the street today;

His lanky stride,

His head cocking

Back and Forth

To some rhythm

Inside.

I knew this man.

I knew him to be kind and curious

I knew his laughter

I knew his

Deep

Goodness.

I watched the young man

Step

Up;

Onto the curb.

His black shirt and khaki shorts,

His uncombed hair.

He turned

I did not know

THIS

Young

Man.

I know my own son.

One day

Soon

He will take his lanky limbs

And uncombed hair

His laughter

His Intensity

And his Deep Goodness

Across a street

Far from where we are now.

One Day

Soon

My boy  will be a young man

Crossing a street

Far From Here.

I have seen him.

He will be ready.

*******************

High school is on our horizon and life is changing,  My boy is changing.

Again.

The only constants:

Change

and

Love.

Middle school graduation is done and we are deep into a teen Summer:

Go Kart to be built, Geo Caching to be done, friends to be with.

Long less lazy days of watching him read and driving him hither and yon.

*************************

I am with my son,

on the outskirts of his life,

watching him become the man who will one day cross a street far from here.

I think of this as I drive him hither and yon

to this friends and to that friends.

I am Happy to watch from the outside.

I am blessed to be the one on the outside of this boys life.

*********************

I am being Mom now.

I will be back.

I have a cycle to break.

Peace,  Jen

I miss all ya’ll!

I really, really do….

I will be in and out….

when I am not behind the wheel of the car

driving

hither

and

yon.

~ by Step On a Crack on June 19, 2012.

25 Responses to “He Will Be Ready. Will I?”

  1. Yes, you have a cycle to break and you’re doing it Oh so well!! Hither and yon, my friend, hither and yon. xo

    Like

    • Debby! I have been thinking of you SO much! The SA is here in CO helping with a HUGE fire we have blazing. YOU guys…. Angels.

      Thank you for this. Permission and encouragement. Thank you!

      XO Jen

      Like

  2. I love the line “on the outskirts of his life’ that is what parenthood is all about once they reach a certain age.

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    • Louise! Oh how I miss all of you! AND

      it is time to sit back and watch the boy while I can. That graduation really brought it all to the fore: he is leaving. He is leaving soon…

      If I can have a bit more time even on the outskirts I will take it.

      I was going to say, “my mama didn’t raise no dummy…”

      but she didn’t really raise me at all..

      that will need to wait for Fall. Ho ho ho!

      I DO miss you!

      XO Jen

      Like

  3. enjoy being a Mom!

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  4. This is very beautiful, Jen. God bless y’all.

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    • Caddo!

      Hello there YOU! Bless you also my Friend. I am working my way back and think of you ALL the time.
      I hope all if well in your world.

      XO Jen

      Like

      • Hi Sweetie–since I was unable to find the specific reference/post on your blog which inspired me, would it be alright if I just link to your blog when I post the poem?? Other than BLOG ISSUES, life is GOOD! Hey, I have a 2nd blog, if you’re interested…God bless you–love, Caddo

        Like

      • Hey there YOU! YES Ma’am and I am Honored!

        What is the new blog? I will head on over to your house and check it out. Is it linked to your original blog?

        Wish you were down the Real Street not just the Virtual one…

        Love, Jen

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      • Yes, “Real Street” would be nice!!

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  5. YAY YAY YAY! Just glad you could drop us a note!! Lots of people ASK about you my sweet … so i am thrilled to hear about your boy growing up … or should i say almost-a-man son growing up … soon to walk the streets of the best schools around. OH i picked up on the constants: Change and Love. You are the warrior woman who broke the mold of your family. The only constant with the W’s was change and craziness.

    YOU WROTE LOVE IS A CONSTANT. Goody and Yippee!!!!

    Love you, and miss you! Mel

    Still crazy after all these years … badum dum.

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  6. So beautifully written. Miss you Jen.
    XX00XX
    Sue

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  7. dear jen –
    I don’t know…
    You’re right, he will be ready. You may be, maybe not.
    But you will send him out with joy and confidence and a sense of self and belonging. That’s quite a send off!
    You may not be ready, but you’ll be fine because he will rock his world!
    always good to see you,
    Debbie

    Like

  8. Poetic as always! Fun to hear from you. I had to laugh as I envisioned you driving all over with your son even before you checked in and gave us the update. I’ve not forgotten those days. There’s a fine tension in this stage. You’re doing great and he’s the beneficiary of that. Go! I’m sure you lost valuable moments in the meantime…

    Like

  9. Jen…wonderful…brought nostalgic smile from me.

    Like

  10. hey there Jen. What is the cycle you have to break?! My eldest will be starting middle school next year. Seriously, I have to get a driver’s licence so that I too will be able to drive hither and yon, hither and yon, hither and yon and back again! xon

    Like

    • Hello there! I am gonna break the cycle of alcoholism. Man! Is it a Family Curse or what? My husband and I look on the family tree and EVERY branch hangs an alcoholic or an addict or mental illness. I want SO much for my son to escape the curse. Time will tell; for now we do due diligence which begins with me. Am I clean and sober? Am I working from wholeness? not always, no way, but I try. Every day I try.

      YES! Driving hither and yon is a worthy hobby. (and you get to listen to the kids in the back seat go on and on about this and that. hither and yon and this and that: can’t be beat…)

      XO Jen

      Like

  11. Missed you. Beautiful words.
    The Cockroach

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  12. That was beautiful.

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  13. Jen, you write this with such gentleness… and strength. The words flow straight from your heart, blushed by an awareness and a love that ties you infinitely. Beautiful, beautiful poem. xo

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  14. You have done such a beautiful job guiding him to where he is now that he can’t help but follow those footsteps as he makes his own path.

    Like

  15. A lovely read. A wonderful poem.

    Like

  16. Hey,Jen,
    I knew this would be a heart-breaker. So sweet. I was afraid to read it, like some people are afraid to cut a beartiful cake, but I did, anyway and I have loved it, anyway. So sweet. So reminding me of how I miss you.
    I think the best parents are the ones who hang on a bit to childhood, to the wonder, to the excitements, and to the love of simplicity. Those are the ones who understand everyone, even teens, because we all have a child inside. We just don’t all remember. But you do.
    Thanks for reminding me.
    And thanks for trying to break the cycle. I want to meet you both, someday.
    ❤ K

    Like

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