We Lose Them. We do. And Then Again We Don’t So Much.

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Dave Brubeck

December 6, 1920 * December 6, 2012

Rest in Peace


This is a hard time of year when you have lost those you love.

This is a particularly  hard holiday.

Everywhere I go I am reminded of Mommy.

Everywhere I go I am reminded that my parents are dead

and family is taking on a deeper meaning.

Today Dave Brubeck died.

I turned on NPR this afternoon and heard Take Five

It took me  back to my childhood and my mother in the kitchen

Take Five and Kind of Blue by Miles Davis:

Soundtrack to my childhood afternoons.

I can add the Stones and Moody Blues and opera to this but…

Jazz was this wild thing for my mother.

I listened as I heard of the passing of Dave Brubeck

and I thought of his family

somewhere grieving the loss of the one they love.

Somewhere they are there sitting with loss.

I wish the Brubeck family peace on this long

journey of grief.

I felt the sun on my shoulder as Take Five took over.

I thought of my mother in capris,

smoke rising from her cigarette as she knelt over the crossword puzzle.

We lose them. We do.

And then again

We don’t so much.



~ by Step On a Crack on December 5, 2012.

7 Responses to “We Lose Them. We do. And Then Again We Don’t So Much.”

  1. Beautifully written Jen. This is a difficult time of year for many. How are you doing? Take care and stay safe.


  2. Jen, you have lost so many … and for tender/feeling hearts grief and loss doesn’t “go away” … there’s no “closing that chapter”. People are everything! People we LOVE are more than everything: They’re IT!. I SOOO get you on this. Thanksgiving was surreal: The matriarch is missing, the patriarch is wonderful, but failing a bit (not to mention shy) … two combined families who don’t know each other and feel at odds. Holidays: Family. It’s a time of great joy, great sadness, great emotional swings, and most of it i can’t fucking understand!

    Our society tells us to SNAP OUT OF IT (actually Cher said that in Moonstruck) … but it fits. I have my private fits of crying … or CALLING YOU … to remind myself that I WILL miss my loved ones … i WILL question my relationships with those who’ve passed on … i will try to flow. Try.

    I love you, my friend! XOXOXOX MEL


  3. Eventually we do. Preserve your memories. ❤ K

    On 12/5/12, Step On A Crack…Or Break Your Mother's Back


  4. Dear Jen, this is definitely a difficult time of year for so many. I guess thats why they say Christmas is for kids! I’m embracing it for them this year.


  5. Your writing is so beautifully evocative, and I never know what to say. Sending my love x


  6. http://iamnotshe.wordpress.com/2012/12/18/will-you-be-my-liebster/ … Will you be my LIEBSTER, friend. You have been nominated for the Liebster Blog Award: Again. Go get it, baby! XO MEL


  7. Happy New Year to you, Jen. May 2013 bring you more love, happiness, and success.

    My subscription went messed up, so now I am resubscribing, looking forward to reading more of your poems!

    Subhan Zein


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